Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
