thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
