I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
