Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
