absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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