There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
