just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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