See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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