yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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