I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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