I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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