Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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