Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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