He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
