They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i want to swaddle you in tequila
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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