No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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