Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
