Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize