Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize