She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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