So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
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She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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