weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
