Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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