Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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