last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
