Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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