Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I wish there were birth control emojis
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
