I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
