Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
drinking out of a sandbucket again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize