You made me cry and you don't even care
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
