Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize