i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
