Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he shaved USA in his pubs
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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