you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
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