I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize