Buhtt sex?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize