Ambien. No doubt about it.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
