Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
