there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
