i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
