3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
