I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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