im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
