did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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