my phone needs a breathalizer
I am full of burrito and curiosity
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
