my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
