I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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