Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
