Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Couch. On fire.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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