Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
