Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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