We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
