If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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