So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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