and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
