i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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