forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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