it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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