just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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