you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
